Keeping the Peace by Staying Out of Grown Folks' Business

With the beginning of the new year, many of us are making New Year's Resolutions - some we'll forget about within the next few weeks, others we might hang onto for a little while longer, but here's one that you should think about. This one will certainly make your life less stressful. I was instructed to do this quite often as a child, but still try to live by this rule: Stay Out of Grown Folks Business!

From time to time, we find ourselves in the middle of very uncomfortable situations - at work, at a family reunion, shopping at the mall. If you interact with people, you are bound to find yourself in a conversation, situation or relationship that makes you want to blurt out what you really feel, but really, why do we feel the need to always share our personal beliefs or feelings with everyone? Sometimes, people just need to mind their own business.

It's hard enough for adults to stay out of grown folks' business, but if you do nothing else, keep your kids out of grown folks' issues. For example, your 5 year old doesn't need to know what child support is or that her raggedy father isn't paying it. I can't believe some of the things people tell their kids. That's grown folks business.

When I was a child, it certainly wasn't fair of my mother to bring me into her business. I did not need to know that she was being sexually assaulted by my father. There were far too many grown folks' conversations held in my presence.

This may have happened to you: You see your girlfriend's man holding hands with another woman in the Neiman's jewelry department. You realize he saw you too. Now what? You have 2 choices:
· say nothing to anyone - not your business
· tell her right away - she either cusses you out and calls you a liar; asks you to ride with her to the other woman's house (don't you love it when we want to kick the other woman's butt and not the cheating man's butt) where you know something crazy is about to jump off; or says she already knows about it

This happens too often: You're in the car with two family members and they start arguing about who paid for everything the last three times. Well, since one of them isn't working, we already know how this one is going to go. It really doesn't matter who paid the last time, if somebody's broke, the other has to pay. The only way around this is to not invite the broke family member in the first place. This isn't very nice, but sometimes it just is what it is....

Another true story: How would you have handled this situation? You're shopping with a family member and her husband. She's crazy and out of control and slaps him in the face in the store. Thank goodness he doesn't slap her back. He just calmly walks away and goes to the car to wait for crazy to complete her shopping. Well, what do you say? Do you let this crazy heifer think what she did was cute and justified or tell her that she's dead wrong and should apologize and see a therapist? I say the best thing is to stay out of grown folks' business whenever possible.

Of course, if someone is being abused or mistreated, you should do your best to gently deal with the issue. But in general, you don't need to add your $.02 to the conversation being held at the next table just because the restaurant is a public place. It's also not your place to tell sister-girl with the purple hair and too-tight clothes that she's a hot mess. Somebody might think that's cute.

Hell, you might look like a hot mess yourself and just don't realize it yet....